My dad was an alcoholic. One night he and my mom were fighting in the kitchen. He was screaming at her, pushing her and throwing things. My brothers and I stood in our pajamas, watching in terror as she begging him to stop...

C.S. Lewis wrote, “The more we let God take us over, the more truly ourselves we become – because He made us. He invented us. He invented all the different people that you and I were intended to be.”

In my late teens, I was a drowning person. Drowning in fear, self-doubt, depression, suicidal thoughts, and deep emotional pain, I was untrustworthy and unstable. Drowning victims are dangerous. I used drugs, alcohol, sex--anything or anyone who might make me feel, even for a short time, sheltered from the hell inside I could not face.

 If we want to forgive truly, and find it difficult, the answer is not found by examining the person who has wronged us, wondering how he could have done such a thing, comparing his sins with the rest of ‘normal’ humanity and trying to find him not so bad by comparison. The key to full, free, and permanent forgiveness actually lies within the self, and is found when we become willing to uncover self-deception. 

Have you ever felt that God is dangerous to know? At a certain point in my life, when my husband lost his job and things went steadily from bad to worse, I really felt that way...

My eight-year-old was up a tree in the backyard. It was a clear, cold day. His cheeks were red from the wind and exercise. He called out to me, his voice high with the triumph of reaching the top, “Mom!”, he shouted, “Look at all of this. Now I know why God made the world..."